Am I Transformer? - [My Story]

Hello! It's me again. I'd like to present my writing assignment that I've been finished writing in January, 2020.

Special thanks to Agies Tsam and L. Nouval, as proofreaders for this story.

Warning! This story is half-fictional. If there are similarities in the names of characters, places of events or stories, it is merely a coincidence and there is no element of intent.

Enjoy reading!

Am I Transformer?

            “I hate your friend, Res!” said Shafa popped out in their group chat in the evening. Resti also replied, “At first, I’ve been upset at her, before I’d become close to her.” And the rest of group members also replied by trying to change the topic except one, Rahma. She was just scrolling on their chat room and feeling confuse. What was Shafa mean? Who had made her upset? She ended up wondering why Shafa could be that mad. She trembled while reading the text. Was it her? The one made Shafa upset? She just left the unanswered questions. Also, she refused feeling worried about something that she felt unsure about.

            On the next morning, Rahma went to school early as usual. She entered the class bluntly and felt shocked as her friends had already arrived. Maybe her bedroom wall clock broke, she thought. Because of her rule to be attended to school earlier, almost one and half year, she always be the first person that had arrived earlier. She noticed them as they were clearly talking about something. However, they were rapidly changing the topic as soon as she was walking to her seat. She just stayed silent and thought nothing would go wrong. She tried to keep an optimistic mind by paying no attention to it. She was just doing and preparing her things before the class started. She thought about being in the third year, school was becoming more hectic than before, so everyone would busy to study even harder.

***

            Rahma, a sixteen years old girl, was being a transferred student at eleventh grade. She was glad and grateful on the day she was accepted by well-passed the test. She looked at the announcement board in tears that she got the first ranked among all the candidate students. Her dream, that she wanted to study in the public school nearby her grandmother house, had come true. After that, she felt a bit relieved about her financial problem throughout the year before. Due to fail to enter the public school on her first year, she had been entered a private school and the tuition was paid by her uncle finance. Because of that, she had been pushed herself come into her sense to not burdening her uncle finance for her school. Then, she did it and was being accepted become a new student of the public school.

            She was just a girl around an ordinary family in suburban area who lived in the capital city. She lived with her grandmother, sisters and cousins in their grandmother’s house. She lived in there to continue her studies as high school student so do her sisters and cousins. Out of her family financial problem, she had to study in the capital city due to her family card was the capital city resident. So that she had no choice and the rest of her big family children also should study based on registered card area. If the candidate student as the resident of the area, it would affect a greater chance of acceptance to the school based on the registered card area.

Nothing more excited than before, her previous school, she was going to attend the first day of school. She could not wait to meet new things like friends, teachers, uniforms, extracurricular, environment, and maybe crush. Despite all of those things, the first —a must— thing that would fill the first day in the second year, especially for Indonesian students, was attending the Monday Ceremony. Afterwards, students went back to their class. The homeroom teacher called her to let her introduce herself. She started to introduce herself in front of the class and everyone greeted her warmly. She sat in front of the class corner as there was nothing left to be occupied. At first, she had just sat all alone. But, someone approached her. A girl started to give her handshake and said, “Hi, I’m Resti, it’s nice to meet you.” Since then, she was getting along well with her. She started to adapt with the environment and added more friend to get along by making a group chat. She also followed one of extracurricular that was a scout movement.

She was happy all along to meet the great days in her new school. Although, she thought everything would get better soon after she transferred. However, problems would never let someone rest a bit. In a friendship, a term of upset one another might happen. She was in the bad term with Resti as she used Resti’s phone data without telling her first. She felt guilty and realized that she had done the wrong thing. She tried to apologize about her fault. After they made up, she promised to be in good term and asked first about everything that she wanted to do regarding someone’s things. After that day, unfortunately, she kind of grew apart with Resti. She realized that Resti managed it well. With all members of the group, she was trying to get closer and not to do the same thing as what she had done to Resti.

***

            Day by day, she started felt something strange and saw their group chat become silent. They were not filling up something to share, laugh, study, or anything to discuss anymore. It was remaining quiet. Of course, she began to realize, there was something wrong. They were avoiding and leaving her as they were acting like they were just fine as usual. But actually it was not at all. One by one, they left the group chat until it was just she and Siti as one of the group member. She finally realized it was her all along that they were talking about. It was her that Shafa and Resti was feeling upset about. Then, the rest of group members chose to follow Shafa as their good friend. She felt devastated by her friend’s behavior and ashamed by her own self. After that happened, she was feeling guilty and sad. She felt something that she had preciously protected was scattered into pieces. The bad thing is that becoming the one who broke her friend’s heart.

Despite all of things that happened to her, she tried to approach Shafa to apologize about what made her upset. Shafa’s reaction always did the same thing. She told her that she was just fine and she did not have to worry about it. Even until the third times, she apologized to her, Shafa made sure that they were going to be okay. However, God knows better about her life. They did not get along and far from her expectation. So that she was not cheerful as she was before. She chose to silent and become an outsider. She felt better alone by her own self. She even ever thought that it was happened because she was a transferred student. Some people might say sometimes transferred students were being suffered out of their real habit. But, she refused and did not trust those words. She believed that she would find the best way of her life for her last year in senior high school.

Thank God, she had her scout friends at her back. Her scout friends were the last closest people she had at school. Without them, her school life was nothing. Being left by her closest friends on her last year in school became the worst thing that she had in her life. That was the critical time for her and whoever put an effort to be well-achieved the good scores for national exam. When her scout stood up for her after that incident, it was the most touching part of her life to have them well understood about her condition. She found out that she felt comfortable and opened up herself while she was being around them. She just recognized, all this time, she did not actually found her actual friends because she had almost every time felt uncomfortable, burdensome, and hesitate to do something that she really wanted. She considered as she did not own herself. But then, by her scout movement, she became her real self that she had learned a lot of things.

Her scout friends confused why they kicked her out as a group member. Also, what made them real upset about her? Meanwhile they saw her as good friend; she would never do such a harm thing. On the meeting day, she started to explain the story based on what she had known so far about what happened. Her scout friends listened to it carefully. She told them, “It was unclear why they were left me alone. I didn’t even know what made them avoid me. I guessed they just want me to realize my own fault meanwhile I didn’t know what I have done before. I would never know because I can’t figure it out. Is it because I’m an ignorant? What kind behavior of mine that make them upset? They didn’t tell me about it at the first place, how could I know about it? I just realized that we were just doing fine and busy day on our last year. Maybe there were a lot of my faults that they had never told me about. Till one of them loses their patience, they choose to leave.” Her face was full in tears and her scout friends tried calmed her down and gave pats on her back. On the next day, when she met her friends at canteen, it was an awkward situation. One of her scout friend was standing beside her, said to her that they actually made new group chat right after they left her. She felt even worse than ever while hold her teary eyes, immediately she told her scout friend, “its okay, that’s my entire fault. It deserves me.” She just left the canteen earlier and cried again. Little by little, she tried to accept what she had already done.

The incident was affecting a lot to her life. She chose to be alone. Her school days, in last year even last three months being a student, would not take a long time to be graduated. There was nothing fun to talk about close friends in the end of semester. She just spent her remaining days at school with her scout friends and no more than that. For counted times, she still had opportunity to talk with Resti but it was not as the same warmth. It was just accidentally met by fate and just unimportant chat. She did not want to talk about the group because she had no courage to talk about it. By a slight meeting with her, it was already made her happy. She hoped the others would give a chance too.

***

In return, students were students. Everyone should stay focused to their obligation. They really put their effort to get in to the good university so do her. She got into preparation for the school final exam, national exam, and also university entrance exam. Even though those times would be tough, the supports of everyone around her were meant a lot to her. Besides friendship problem that she had been through, she learned a lot about being a good student and good friend.

After all of her hard work and effort, she finally graduated with adequate scores to be satisfied. Everyone who supports her was happy too. She could not believe that she stood up here us an alumnus of public school. Graduated meant graduation event. All students used a pretty and handsome dress code. Till her scout friends failed to recognize that it was her. She came up with her phone to take a picture with everyone that she knows. She even wrote down the name of her friends to take a photo with. However, it did not well-implemented. She failed to take a picture with them, her friends. She still hoped that she could at least talk as usual. Then again, they were not meant to be. But, she was happy that day. She got a bunch of flowers from her juniors and at least, she got a chance to take a picture with Resti. It was more than enough for the last day as a student at school.

It was not the ending, it was just the beginning, they said. She had struggled to take the university entrance exam and Thank God, she got accepted in the major that she hoped for. She followed the instructions before becoming a freshman by attending events for new students. She was taking back her memories before making a new friend, what should she do and what she should not. She was ready to step a new journey, new adventure. She did not want to repeat the same mistake, hurt someone’s heart, or even doing bad behavior. She stood up to become a good student.

She had ever heard that become a college student would be hard to find real friends. However, once again, she denied it. In college life, she wanted to begin a new start. Friends meant a lot to her life and someone could not grow up without friends. She believed, they would teach her a lot of things, a place for her to share, and they would be the important part of her life. If it was hard to find the real one, then she wants to be the one.

            Now, she has a lot of friends at college. She really intended to be the one. She becomes more humble and cheerful person. She tried hard to be careful about what she was going to do. She becomes open-minded and keeps the good habits. Back in time, she is often thinking about the old days with her mistakes, and she is feeling grateful. They have taught her the meaning of life. If that were not happened, she cannot be the one she becomes right now.

***

At the end, it is sad that she is not becoming their friends again. But, maybe it has become her best way of her life. She has thought that her high school stories have a lot of memories of joy and sorrow. She accepted it wisely that it all paid off by lessons and experiences of life. Her big family, her friends, and even her life are transforming to be the best version of her. She is often thinking about “Am I transformer?”, after all of things that she has been through. She simply agreed and concluded it all as Transformer. Yes, she is a Transformer. She also thinks everyone does. Every single person in the world is their own transformers. We transform every time, every day, every year, and even every a bit of second about everything. Without transforming ourselves, we will never increase our self-development. And finally, she has transformed as a person in good personalities. She has already proved that she has her good sides and tried to fix everything that she have done before. She is continuing her life and keep transform to be a better person.

-The End-

Have you finished read the whole story? So, tell me about it, how is it? How do you feel? Share your opinion, or you may give me some critics, advices, or comments!!!

Thanks for reading! See you on the next post!